I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
