her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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