Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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