It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
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He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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