Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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