I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
