After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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