yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I want to fling myself into the sun
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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