I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
