chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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