So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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