I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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