things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
