jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
