If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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