I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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