32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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