This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
