Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
