Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
