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I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i came on her dog
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
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