I only kidnapped one of them. chill
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
