New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
