you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
