can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
