I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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