i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
