I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
