were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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