I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
did i just pee glitter
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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