I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
