you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
