I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
