yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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