So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
