it was like his penis was on wheels.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
