What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
