Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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