all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize