Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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