I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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