you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
