I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
