Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
