A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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