taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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