There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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