This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
