found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
What a dumb baby whore.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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