I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
