I want to have your abortion
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
