mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
