Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
