but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
