you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
