Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize