I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
