i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
