im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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