yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
